I grew up in a suburb outside Boston and had a fine childhood. I had a decent family and some close friends. I enjoyed sports and did well enough in school. My issue was that I lived with this general discomfort and a sense that I didn’t quite fit in. I thought my peers were well-adjusted and had an understanding of life that I was born without. In high school, my friends and I were introduced to alcohol. Early on and throughout much of my drinking career, alcohol helped me feel a bit more comfortable, more like the way I wanted to feel. It gave me courage at parties. I had more excitement, more fun. I felt like I got more attention from peers and girls when I was drinking. In general, I felt like I almost fit in.

I chased that feeling and found myself drinking while watching football, playing golf, at family gatherings, at weddings, at parties, going out with friends after work, or just watching a movie by myself. Alcohol became a big part of my life and identity. The problem was that I developed depression and anxiety and that good feeling became more and more difficult to find. In 2000, the depression progressed and life became more unmanageable. It became harder to get up for work. I argued with coworkers and fought with friends. Family members increasingly voiced concern. A psychologist even suggested that alcohol might be my problem. I refused to accept that and continued drinking until things deteriorated to a point when despair set in. I felt a sinking sense that something was wrong with me all along and I couldn’t live a normal, happy life.

The downward spiral culminated in late 2003, when circumstances forced me to consider that alcohol just might be a problem. I was introduced to AA and the idea that alcoholism is a disease that leads people to feel the way I felt and drink the way I drank, and more importantly, that there was a solution. I went to my first AA meeting in October 2003 and felt hope that maybe alcoholism was my problem. I learned that it is a disease that affects the body, the mind, and the soul and that the program of Alcoholics Anonymous could relieve the need to drink and lead to a happy life. It has been almost 15 years since the last drink and regular attendance at AA meetings and the 12-step program of recovery have given me a life beyond my wildest imagination. Today, I embrace life. I feel peace and joy. I have a job that gives me satisfaction. I have a beautiful wife and three beautiful daughters who only know a sober father who loves them and is there for them every day.

Once I accepted that drinking was a problem life got better.

-Rob G.